Do I need a $1,100 perfume?

After a year I’d like to forget, I’m giving myself a day worth remembering.

May 18, 2025

30 was the worst year of my life. I don’t say that lightly. I’ve lived through enough Hard Times™️ to know the difference between a rough patch and something more serious—and last year was particularly brutal. But time marches on, and I’ll be celebrating another birthday next Friday, May 23. I didn’t have the energy to plan anything this time around—I have the classic what-if-no-one-shows-up fear; I only hosted something last year because a friend told me I’d regret not celebrating such a milestone, and they were right.

Still, I want to celebrate 31 because a) it’s my birthday, b) I’m glad I made it out of 30, and c) I’m in a better place now. I’ve landed on trying to give myself a great day in New York City. What that looks like will, in some ways, be a surprise to me—I’m trying to let the universe lead the way these days and allow room for spontaneity. But if I have it my way, it’ll involve some of the following:

A feuilletine from Café Sabarsky at the Neue Galerie (where I’ll go upstairs to see Gustav Klimt’s Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer I again because, you know, I’m already there), a slice of principessa cake from Sant Ambroeus, or a caramelized white chocolate budino from Raf’s.
If I’m at the Neue Galerie, I might as well walk down four blocks to The Met for the Superfine: Tailoring Black Style and John Singer Sargent exhibits.
And if I’m at The Met, I might as well take a walk through Central Park—specifically, my favorite part: The Ramble.
A trip to the MoMA. I attended a private viewing of the museum’s new Hilma af Klint exhibit, What Stands Behind the Flowers, earlier this week. Hilma is one of my favorite artists—I still think about The Guggenheim’s Paintings For The Future often—so it was incredibly special to have the curator, Jodi Hauptman, walk a small group through the space. (Not to mention, it’s always been a dream of mine to be in a museum with no one else around.) But I need to go back to spend more time taking in the small, intricate details of each piece—and luckily, the museum has magnifying lenses for just this purpose.
A massage at Raquel New York with Sophie Bolvary. Admittedly, I was just there this week for a massage to celebrate Uni’s latest drop—the golden microalgae body oil—but Sophie sent me into another dimension (we accessed “the portal,” as she called it), and that portal is calling me again.
Dinner at Nami Nori, my spot. I take everyone here, whether it’s for a work lunch or just a great meal with friends. I like to build my own set: coconut shrimp, spicy lobster, spicy tuna, spicy crab dynamite, and cucumber black sesame. The sesame miso chocolate chip cookies are a must for dessert, by the way.

As for birthday presents…

Despite loving to talk about stuff, I’m actually pretty minimal and get easily overwhelmed by it. That’s partly a function of working in an industry where I have access to a lot (which is, again, a real privilege). But it also means that what I bring into my home is carefully considered—I don’t like having things just for the sake of it. These days, I’m more about experiences than material goods, but at the end of the day, I do always have my eye on a thing or two. (I’m just a girl!) Here’s what I’m dreaming about right now:

A set of mother of pearl swan spoons from Gohar World. You know why.
A bottle of Madame Grey, Cassandra Grey’s “scent that got away.” I got to preview Violet Grey’s Upper East Side flagship a couple of weeks ago with Madame Grey herself. She told me about her lifelong pursuit to bottle the essence of a woman whose power “makes us fall”—think Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. She started the project in 2016 and eventually worked on the final formulation with storied perfumer Jérôme Epinette (the nose behind two of my other favorite scents: Suite 302 and Little Flower) “just weeks after he fell in love for the first time.” It’s made with cashmere, tobacco, and pheromones—Violet Grey is not listing the notes on the site, by the way—and oh my God, I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I smelled it. There are only 1,100 bottles, priced at $1,100 each. Do I need a bottle? Well, no one ever really needs a perfume. But do I want it? More than anything else on my wishlist right now. (You can go straight for the hair mist version at 1/11th of the price.)
A copy of Hilma af Klint: What Stands Behind the Flowers. And while I’m at it, Hilma af Klint: Paintings for the Future, which, for some reason, I didn’t buy during the exhibit’s run in 2019.
Goodnight Moon stamps. No explanation needed.
My go-to Chanel lip combo: Nude Brun lip liner and Boy rouge coco flash lipstick. Okay, so maybe this was originally Lily-Rose Depp’s combo, as done by her brilliant makeup artist Nina Park, but it’s mine now, too—it’s called taste!
I have six piercings total—three in each ear—and I somehow managed to lose both of the pearl studs I usually wear, so I’m on the hunt for replacements. I’ve got my eyes on the Venus studs (in yellow gold, always!) from Sophie Ratner, whose jewelry I fell in love with after my friend Gia (hi, Gia!) gave me a beautiful pair of webbed hoops, which I wear every single day, for my 30th.
A tin of houjicha from Rocky’s Matcha. I recently had a frozen houjicha at Matchaful and it tasted like the last bit of an ice cream cone—you know, where the slightly melted ice cream hits the bottom—and I want that kind of delight from the comfort of my own home.

With all that said! I don’t need everything on this list—but dreaming a little feels like part of the celebration, too. Really, at the end of the day, I just want a beautiful day with a few people I love… and maybe a reminder that joy can still surprise me. Here’s to 31 being gentler than 30—and full of tiny, perfect things (and stuff).

x DB