He’s Just A Man: “I really only have the energy to try not to repel people...”
“My sister told me I can’t be of legal drinking age and still bite my nails—so I guess I still have a few months to figure that out.”
I’ve spent a large part of my career asking women why their skin is so good or what beauty products they stock in their top shelves, but I’ve rarely gotten the opportunity to do the same with men. Welcome to He’s Just A Man, where I try to uncover why men are the way they are—at least when it comes to beauty.
In our last Investigation™️ into men’s beauty routines, we learned that 30-year-old New York guys love Topicals’ eye masks (I get it—they’re good). Next up: Charlie Stone, a 20-year-old college student currently studying for the LSAT and interning at a NYC music venue.
Charlie takes a laissez-faire approach to beauty. His routine is mostly shaped by products and tips from his mom and older sisters. “It’s important to note that I am a child—I know I’m 20, but I do not feel like an adult—and I live in my parents’ place, so ‘He’s Just a Boy’ might be more fitting here,” he told me. “That means a lot of the products I use are subject to whatever my mom deems necessary and brings home in bulk from Costco.”
BTW, Charlie could not “GAF” about natural products. “I also don’t really care about, like, microplastics or other manosphere-related ideas. Microplastics are bad for the environment, sure, but for myself? Eh,” he says. “I saw a friend of mine drink three raw eggs for breakfast along with raw milk and raw cheese recently. That is not the shit I am on—I am pro-pasteurization.”
And with that, take it away, Charlie…
“I really only have the energy to try not to repel people. I don’t want to look gross; I don’t want to smell bad or look like I have greasy hair or a dirty face. That’s the rule of thumb I try to adhere to in my ‘approach’ to beauty, which is rooted in general hygiene and maintenance—and I would maybe even go as far as to say that what I do is reactive rather than proactive. Even then, most of what I do consists of tips that my mom and older sisters gave me. I just don’t think about beauty in the way that Big Beauty (or my sister, the wickedly talented
) sells it, which makes me a bit unreceptive to the entire scene. I’m trying! But not that much...As for the specifics… I shower every day and typically cleanse with Cerave’s foaming wash. I like when it bubbles up because it feels like it’s being ‘activated’ or doing something tangible. Right now, I’m using one from Cetaphil that doesn’t foam—not as fun. Three or four times a week—is that too much?—I exfoliate before I cleanse with one of those scented exfoliators with the beads. I pick up whatever’s cheapest at CVS. This arose out of me growing up as the youngest brother of two sisters and using whatever they had in the bathroom. Years have gone by and they’ve now told me that most beads in exfoliating gels are full of microplastics and are bad for you. Whatever. Near the end of the shower, I switch from hot to cold water and let it run on my face. Someone told me it closes up the pores—it might have been BuzzFeed.
Once upon a time, I had a moisturizer that was specifically crafted for faces, but I just use whatever’s lying around now. I’ve got some sort of Curél thing going on.
I am blessed to have pretty clear skin. Not to brag, but even during puberty, I was never a pimply guy. When one does pop up, I use a prescribed salicylic acid gel as a spot treatment. It kind of works. Mostly, I try to pop it prematurely and create a massive gash in my face. When that scabs over, it comes off with the exfoliating gel I use in the shower. Hopefully, the pimple is gone by then—and if not, the cycle repeats.
Like a lot of young, New York City straight guys, I consider myself a bit out of the realm of mainstream masculinity. But I’ve never considered makeup—not once. Well, one time I wanted my sisters to do David Bowie’s Aladdin Sane makeup on my face for Halloween. I assumed that since they were girls, they could figure that one out. They were like, ‘Dude, I don’t know how to do that.’ All this is to say that my gauge for what counts as a lot versus a little makeup is not very accurate.
I used to get a haircut every six months throughout college and high school at a proper salon. Now I go to a random local barber and ask them to use scissors. The electric buzzer makes my hair poof straight up, giving my head a big fuzzball. At home, I use a Pantene something-or-other for shampoo and conditioner. I condition pretty often—maybe five or six days a week. And I’ve heard you’re not supposed to shampoo your hair every day, but I do, and it’s been working for me thus far. And you know what they say… if it ain’t broke…
When it comes to facial hair, I have three words for you: Philips. Norelco. OneBlade. All of my friends have one. Guys love this thing—and for good reason. It’s just a genuinely good product. In high school, I used to use shaving cream and a multiblade disposable razor, but now I’m too lazy. I don’t shave every day, like a lot of men do, but I try to trim at least twice a week. I never trim it down to the face though; I like to keep a little stubble by using a skin guard. When I shave too close, I get razor bumps and ingrown hairs. I’m sure there’s a product I could use to fix that, but I’d rather avoid the situation altogether. And I’m at a stage in my life where facial hair inflates my age. With the stubble, I’m 20–22. With a clean shave, I’m a baby-faced 15-year-old again. A five-year age gap isn’t huge for most people, but for me, that’s the difference between getting into a bar or getting stopped at the door.
I used to really rock with Bumble and Bumble grooming cream because it gave my hair a little firmness so I could shape it. But the Republic of Ireland’s TSA took it from me as I was leaving Dublin. I also have various sea salt sprays to give my hair some waviness, but I mostly used them when my hair was longer. Now I just put a little water in it when I wake up.
I’m using Dove’s Men+Care extra fresh deodorant right now, but I’m usually a Degree guy. I like when a deodorant is white, as opposed to a gel—I’m not sure why.
I try to avoid scents that rely heavily on masculinity for marketing—no sandalwood or bourbon or whatever the fuck; I just want something relatively normal, which is harder to find than you might think.
I’m rocking Debaser from D.S. & Durga for cologne. Katie gave it to me because any fragrance I buy has to be approved by my sisters or mother, but I generally prefer scents that are a bit gender-neutral and not too strong—because the act of spraying cologne is pretty fun, and therefore easy to overdo.
Biting my nails is my biggest sin. I bite them clean off. I know, I know—I’m ashamed of it. I pledge to stop doing it, but then I forget about the pledge and I do it again. Hangnails, if present, suffer the same fate. It’s truly regrettable. My sister, Emily, told me I can’t be of legal drinking age and still bite my nails—so I guess I still have a few months to figure that out.”
My take:
Moms and older sisters keep the world running. Say ‘thank you’ to one today.
proud big sis 🥹
"any fragrance I buy has to be approved by my sisters or mother." aww this is a good brother, i'd like to think mine would do the same